If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it is that you just can’t drive a car without wheels. Many people have tried, and many people have failed. So in celebration of this great necessity, I ask you this: If you had a barrel full of cash money to spend, what wheels would you put on your car? Would you go for the Teddies? Maybe the ultra rare set of Michelin man wheels? Gold 100 spoke Daytons with real knock-offs? Possibly even the Donk style 26’s?
For me, I would probably grab some 19’s from a new BMW, powder coat them black if they aren’t already, and stuff them under the fenders of my truck. For my ’64 Impala, I would probably have some stock “looking” steel wheels custom made, but have them 17×9, and able to handle disc brakes. Then I would wrap them in Michelins and roll low with chrome dog dish hub caps. Maybe I’m weird.
There are some rumors going around today that newer Toyota truck’s come with NGK brand spark plugs on 1 side of their V engine and Denso brand spark plugs on the other side of the engine. I have stewed on this for a while now, and I am left baffled as to why they would do this.
I woke up this morning with a potential solution to a problem that many people out there have. Wheelie addiction. From the zero extensive research that I did, a person cannot be diagnosed with addiction to wheelies or prescribed any sort of medication for it. (In your head right now, you are likely imagining Christopher Walken saying “I got wheelie feva’, and only prescription…. is more wheelies….”) Don’t worry though, I think I have this figured out. Let’s put this grand idea down on paper , shall we?
A) You have a car that does wheelies. First off, congratulations on being awesome, because you are. But if you want to be on two wheels, can’t you just lock away the car for a while, and get a motorcycle instead? Sure you can!
B) You acquire a motorcycle because you clearly have a passion for two wheels. Then you realize, that being on 1 wheel is the only way to go. Not only do you get to balance with front to back action, but now you also get to balance the side to side action as well! Seriously? Do you really need to be on 1 wheel? Yes, you do because you’re addicted.
C) It’s officially unicycle time! The solution to all of your wheelie issues. If you pull a 1.2 second 60 foot time at the track, or lean back like a motorcycle, you will find yourself riding pavement. Ouch. Better wear a helmet. A few falls from the unicycle should clear the wheelie addiction right up.
A few years ago, I went to Austin Texas to visit my sister, and being a car-enthusiast family, it was only appropriate that we went to the Austin Art Car Parade. I had no idea what to expect, but what we witnessed that day was bizarre on a level that cannot be explained in human words. However, I will do my best.
It began with some cars covered in various objects, like action figures, bottle caps, mini-dinosaurs, and corks. Following that came the more elaborate vehicles that were changed into shapes and sizes that would make you question what was in your orange juice earlier that morning. What could possibly follow those you ask? Well, the really really really strange stuff of course. A giant spoon covered spider that leaped into motion with hydraulics and gracefully frighteningly sauntered down the road with a guy (artist, Mark Bradford) saddled on it’s back. It was as if this guy wrangled a giant, futuristic alien arachnid and trained it to be his friend. One thing led to another, a hydraulic line broke, and my dad, my brother and I helped Mark get “Rancha” (That’s the spider’s name) to the side of the road for quick repair. It was one of those moments when you aren’t sure whether to help, run, or cry. Oh what a strange scene it was.
Would I go to another Art car parade? Absolutely, without a doubt. Seeing restored cars and hot rods is one thing, but seeing a car turned into a bunny is a whole separate, intriguingly enjoyable, ball game.
This is a short clip I found of “Rancha” in action.
Over the years, I have had the opportunity and pleasure of working on a wide variety of cars and trucks. The ones with hydraulic suspension systems were some of my all time favorites. It combined huge amounts of electricity (8-10 Car batteries in 1 vehicle) and the unimaginable power of hydraulics. The hostile symphony that appeared when these two forces came together made for months of non stop entertainment. We bounced cars around, lifted 1 wheel off the ground for “3-wheel motion”, dragged them around, and laughed hysterically at just how ridiculous it all was. Looking back, it was some of the most fun that I have ever had working on cars. It was endless work, tons of money, long days, late nights, and I enjoyed every single second.
Pictured above is my friend Chris’s old 1989 Chevy truck. The amount of work put into that truck by he and I was unmeasurable. From what I understand, it’s gone from the earth for good, but the lessons learned from that truck will be around for decades to come. Mental Note: 8 car batteries in parallel will liquify and throw a wrench more than your expect.
While meandering across the wide wide world of web, I accidentally bumped into a blue car. I stepped back, and the first thought that popped into my head was “Why the heck are blue cars so dang awesome?” Sure the blue car was a Bugatti and all, which certainly helps its case, but I think the blue color is the key player here. Am I wrong? Is blue not the most glorious color for all vehicles? Could I have discovered an ancient secret? Did the Egyptians know about this? I bet they did. Lay your eyes upon this phenomenal display of blue cars found on the internet, and try to tell me that blue isn’t the hottest thing since the sun.
I’m not sure if this is a considered a Donk, Box, or Bubble, but I can tell you it was rolling on some seriously large wheels in the early 1900’s. I would put this fine piece of machinery in the “box” category since it is 50% wood. For those of you unfamiliar with the “Hi-Riser” scene, it is typically compiled of American brand cars with suspension lifts and giant wheels. Why? Well… I’m not really sure. This scene was apparently born in the south, but it has quickly spread across the country to places near you. Although hi-risers don’t really strike my fancy, I can still appreciate them for the work that goes into them. Love them or hate them, they catch your attention, and are likely here to stay.