Miss Belvedere was the talk of the town in June of 2007 after being unearthed from the deepest darkest depths of downtown Tulsa. She was a brand new 1957 Plymouth with just 4 miles on her when they dunked her in the pit of no return. Fifty years later when the light of day finally shined on her again in 2007, she had not aged well. She looked like an automotive version of the Cryptkeeper (Remember that show – Tales from the crypt!??). Anyway, as it turns out, automobiles cannot be preserved by dunking them under water for 50 years. Wait….WHAT!? Yes it is true, dirty gutter water from the Tulsa streets does not preserve sheetmetal, fabric, or plastic.
The Lexus LFA has been somewhat elusive since it popped up on the scene as a concept in 2005. However, Lexus has been abusing it on the track and improving upon it for the last few years while you weren’t paying attention. It is now rumored that 500 of them will be built for the 2010 model year. This rumor is becoming so real that Lexus even made a commercial to prove the car really works. It isn’t another boooring brand new super car doing burnouts though, they brought science to the game this time. I imagine people were all like (tiny voice) “I want to see the new LFA fo-real!”, and they were all (in a deep voice) “Fine we’ll break some stuff with the sound of our amazing exhaust”.
From my perspective, it has all the necessary features of a car that I will never be able to afford. Let’s check em’ out!
– Built by Lexus? = Check!
– V10 engine? = Oh Yea!
– 9000 rpm redline? = Uh Huh!
– Factory launch control? = Weeee!
– Carbon Fiber Body? = wut.
– Really economical price? = Sorry, that will not be available for you at this time or ever.
– Steering wheel mounted start button? = Vrrrroooomba!
– Engine sounds tuned & directed into the interior? = Brrraaattt dat dat dat dat dat Vrooom! Bratttt dat dat dat dat….
Ok, I want a Porsche GT3 as much as the next guy, but I’m not ready to make it out of foil. This guy made this car out of tape, tin foil, and a variety of other stuff. I must say it is quite impressive!
What? You want real video of it “racing” ? Oh fine, here you go…
Sometimes life hands you a 1989 Volvo 745T Wagon, and you are forced to turn lemons into lemonade. Douglas Strickler knows how to do this, and his proof is in his Volvette. I just stumbled onto it recently, and it may be old news to everytbody else in the world, but I saw the car and fell in love.
It started life as typical family truckster, and now has a fire breathing LS1 twin turbo, backed with a 6-speed manual transmission. It has 500+ horsepower and could likely get you to soccer practice at the speed of light. It’s got bigger brakes, 18 inch wheels, and wagon loads of custom parts. I can’t even imagine how fun this car must be to drive. Only two words come to mind. Do Want.
This week I wanted to bring up an important topic that we all need to think long and hard about. Love for Monte Carlos. Yes, the Chevy Monte Carlos that were built from 1970-1988 were a beautiful bunch of machines, even the sadly forgotten 1973-77 models. They all had giant engines, huge fenders, heavy doors, and tons of luxury options. If you have never driven in one, I would compare it to sitting on a sofa that is strapped down to an erupting volcano. To celebrate the true wonder that the 1970-88 Monte Carlos are, I have gathered a youtube video of each generation doing an elegant burnout, as only a high class Monte Carlo could.
Between 1970 and 1972 the Monte Carlo shared a large number of parts with the Chevelles, but for some unknown reason (to me), Monte Carlos don’t seem to rot out like the Chevelles and Malibu’s do. Is it because beauty doesn’t age? Could it be because Monte Carlos are so full of magnificence, that rust cannot possibly break them down? Maybe it is because they are so uncommon that deterioration itself wants them to last forever? Whatever magical presence it is protecting these cars from rust, it deserves a high five. With that, I give you elegant burnout number one!
I always felt bad for the 1973-77 Monte Carlos. They were always the ugly bunch that nobody seemed to want. They still had huge engines, and more class than you would know what to do with. What people don’t seem to realize is that with one of these land yachts sweet rides, you have every single automotive option on earth for an unbelievable low price. You have buttons that control other buttons, and switches that control knobs. You have seats that move in like 879 directions, carpet that is 6 inches thick, and enough cigarette lighters to light 40 stogies at once. The trunk is big enough to sneak 10 of your closest friends into the drive-in, which makes for 18 total passengers. What is there not to love? As you may have guessed, this body style is the perfect candidate for elegant burnout number two!
The 78-88 Monte Carlos are unmatched in beauty and grace. If these cars had a decent engine and transmission in them, they could have been the greatest vehicle ever built (……..by Chevy between 1978-88). The downsides to these cars were the asthmatic V6 and V8 engines that GM loaded into them. Chevy claimed 165 horsepower, but I assure you that it felt more like donkey power. Yes, I would rate them at approx. 14 donkeypower. People in horse drawn carriages would easily pass these cars in a race. The interiors were slightly less plush than that of the 73-77 body style, but still high class compared to most. Overall, the great looking body makes up for the lack in power. You buy one of these cars to look awesome, not to go fast. If you swap the engine for maximum greatness, you end up with elegant burnout number three!
Yesterday, a co-worker asked if I had seen the new Armor All wheel protector stuff, because it looked quite impressive. I told him that I hadn’t, but I’d like to see it because cleaning wheels is the most miserable job ever. He pointed me in the direction of this video, which I found pretty darn impressive. Surely, neither you nor I will be spraying honey on our wheels anytime soon, but it’s nice to know that we can without having to use brake cleaner to get it off.
Has anybody used this stuff before in real world conditions? Maybe I will buy a bottle of this and put it to the test….
Step one: Drive through a pool of maple syrup.
Full Disclosure: I have absolutely nothing to do with Armor All. I don’t sell it, I don’t get it for free, and I don’t have any reason to promote it other than it being a clever product advertisement.